STONER VAMPS
by twilightmamaof3
Summary: babsitting bella gets fun. I suck at sums this is based on last night with me and my two friends its funny read. DISCLAIMER: dont own nothen but da blunt


_**ok man read dis shit up. I totaly wrote this story about me and my two friends tonight: Im bella my friend kat is alice and joey is rosalie and my so called other friend britt is jessica so like ya im stoned while wrighting this. Its something that just happend here like half an hour ago so ya. If yer a stoner you will like this story.**_

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stoner vamps

flashback: bpov

"Edward please dont leave me" i said holding onto his shirt. "I told you love i can protect you from anyone but my sisters" Edward said as he leaned down to kiss my forhead. "Bella!" rosalie and alice said in the entrance way of edwards bedroom. I sighed. He chuckled slightley then left the house with the rest of them at vampire speed leaveing me with rosalie and alice. Who both gave me evil grins.

(now)

That was 2 hours ago i have been primped and prodded painted and dotted. I looked like a ho. "Now we know they aint comeing back the main event" alice squeked.

(**A/N: this is where my story starts**)

"Yes" i sighed. About time. the beginning of every 'babysitt bella' session they played bella barbie just in case the guys came back. **(a/n: in my case kids wake up)**

yes 2 hours mean were in the clear. Rosalie went to the other room and came back with a cool as tin box. Alice just smiled she dont usually smoke couse jasper would kick her ass when he felt her high. And that would risk him telling emmett and edward. Rose opened the tin box and pulled out a bag of weed and papers. Rolling the joint at vampire speed. This was gonna be great. Rose put the joint to her mouth and lit it up. "Oh shittttt" rose coughed out. Nice i loved getting stoned with these girls. And edward thins im a goody goody ha. Rose passed me the joint over alice, we were all sitting on the bed against the wall. I took a hit and held it in as i went to pass the joint to rose. "Give me that" alice snapped. Haha alice has had a bad day thisll be good. Alice took a hit and then handed it to rose. She smiled nodding as she let it out. Rose gave me the joint I took 2 hits haha i cheated. Handing the joint to alice she needed stoned more then us. I was getten a buz already man. Alice took a Hit. holding it in and handing the joint around. We went three times around before alice let her smoke out. Damn show off vamps.

**20mins later:**

"Dude im flyen" i said. The girls laughed. "How do you know when you buzz?" alice asked. Haha we laughed. "Dude ya smoken da cock" i said "Or the pussy" rose laughed. Alice flopped back and started laughing holding her stomach. "Ya she's stoned" Rosalie laughed. "Totaly" I laughed. We all started laughing again. We couldnt stop laughing. My phone rang it was jessica. Oh goody more mike drama. Rosalie took the phone "H...H...Hell...oo" "Th...Thhink...th...the conections bad" We started laughing "Shhhh" rosalie said. Wich just made us laugh harder. Jessica was complaining about something so rose gave me the phone. "What if mike dont love me anymore" Jessica whined. "Dude get yer ass over here and stop complaining" i barked We dint really want her here she a total buzz kill. "I cant. When joey and tyler get here ill send tyler over but im not comeing im to depressed" I muted the phone. "Dude she is such a fucking crybaby" alice said. "I know she is driven me fucking crazy" i said. Rose grabbed the remote and put kareoke on "Becouse i got high" I unmuted the phone as the music started.

_Haha role another joint man........_ i read off the screen. And just sang the song. When i was done she laughed some but the got back into her depressed mood. "I dont know what to do hun" jessica cryed. Alice raised her eyebrow. Me and her had a little thing going on. "Hang up on the dum bitch" alice said. Dude awsome she was fucking jellouse man i was a wanted bitch man. I fucked a married man last night and now im fucken 2 sexy ass vmps hell ya. "Well i guese ill go" Jessica said pittifully. "Mmmm" i said watchen tv not even payen attention to her we were watchen some movie called 'desaster movie' 5 mins later i thought she had hung up me and my bitch alice and rose watchen the movie. "Hahaha dude they just like fucken crushed hannah montanna with a like commit thing" I said and laughed. "You there hun?" Jessicas whiney voice came over the speaker. Alice looked ready to spit bullets. "tell her yer phones dieing" alice said silently. I nodded i had something better. "Um jessica?" i said into the phone "Ya hun?" She replyed. "Ya well yer problems are all sad and all but ya me and alice are going to go fuck in edwards bed so ya i gotta go" i said snottily. Haha point 1 bella i dissed the drama queen. I rock whoop whoop! "Oh well have fun hun" she said party like a rock star came blaring over the radio waves and it was on for the three lusty busty girls...then we all settled down and suddenly outta no where ya would hear one of the women moaned 3AT 3M THATS OUR NEW BEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEA YEA twist another so we can get higher and higher rose sez old hippies never die they just flashbaaaaaaaaack continue on soldier for all of ya dont know alittle 411 its a dildo that is rosa point of view this is senseless damn it must of been something i smoked party like a rockstar we all sang in unison and smiled from ear to ear ....women are wonderful creatures how i love them ssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhh i hear the men damnit screamed rosalie she wanted more action and reaction but oh no the men had to show up at the wrong time fuckers ..

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**lol being stoned wrighting is awsome lol r+r please stoners love it.**


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